Seven Inches of Black Plastic

Seven Inches of Black Plastic


These are two unrelated, yet equally relevant issues regarding punk rock and individuality in general: The 7” vinyl record, and dildos, or in less mystifying words, self-sexuality. Both are vital to the continued existence of a strong, pro-active music scene for punks everywhere.

The 7” vinyl record is the treasure trove of punk. For a band, they have to choose their best songs, shorten their descriptive information, and lower the price from a 12”. High quality, low information intake, and low cost. What more can you ask for? Just a few 7” records that really deliver on this are: Civil Disobedience- In a Few Hours of Madness, Detroit Birds- Endangered Species, Minor Threat- Minor Threat, Negative Approach- Negative Approach, Poison Idea- Pick Your King, State- No Illusions, and more, certainly. In all of these, the bands picked their best tracks, put them together and released them to the world. Being that CDs cost the same to press regardless of how much content there is, a 7” record is still more viable than a CD for an upstart punk band, at least in regard to official releases (a burned CD-R handed out for free is better for an unofficial release). I’ve began to make it a point to dig through the 7” bin of any record store I go to before I ever even touch the CDs or LPs. The 7” is the punk rocker’s album, and it has considerable value over a theoretical LP of the same songs with a B-side of shit songs to compliment them. Check your local 7” record bin at the record store before you consider even browsing the CDs; chances are, you’ll find something ten times better and half the cost.

The B-side of this column relates to self-sexuality. Even in the dawn (or afternoon, metaphorically speaking) of this era of women’s liberation from stereotypes of submissive housewife, some women still have not crossed the bridge from uniquely submissive sexual satisfaction to inclusive and different types of sexuality, including bisexuality, bigamy, BDSM, and namely, for all intents and purposes of this article, self-sexuality. Some still feel the guilt the politically conservative Christian institutions have tried to indoctrinate into humanity, and this is not right. Males DO NOT have a monopoly on the control of sexual satisfaction; some could be said to not possess it at all. This perceived monopoly is a gap preventing mankind from achieving individuality; one of the most important aspects of individuality is to not NEED the company of another for survival. Man has survived and evolved long and far enough to be content fulfilling the daily sexual drive alone. Men have already found this, no doubt.

Despite studying possibilities of cures or treatments for HIV, breast cancer (can we please get rid of that fucking month already!?), developmental disorders or other deficiencies of man, instead gave way to find better way to get it up and keep it up. Man has found his self-sexuality; woman has found a degree of hers, but some remain guilted or ignorant to the self-sexual satisfaction possibilities before them. The only way to get on this problem, is to get off. Just, get off! Nike would do wise to copyright that statement and invest in women’s sexuality. In other words, the blockade of women’s individual sexuality is social and external, therefore not at all rationally extricated and hereby irrelevant. Argument is not needed; just get off, and no one will make you if you try and it doesn’t work. It is apparent, however, that it is not a lack of a possibility, it is a lack in the consideration of the possibility. So, I personally urge any and all women, old, young, lesbian, bisexual, straight, black, white, whatever you may be, to buy seven inches of black plastic, and fuck yourselves today!

-Aunty Social